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:iconimortal-night:
A fine story indeed, however you do have some mistakes. First off the names and sentence begginings should be capitalized.When the newly created shadows cheered for their creators they "started to "LONG LIVE THE KING..." started to what? An option would be "started to chant" or "started to cheer" or simply "started to say". You also might want to tell why exactly the lights were going out, I assumed it was when Adam and Eve were dying but you might have told the reader just in case they don't get it. In conclusion I think your story is excellent and very original there are just some minor errors that's all.
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:iconclariktheking:
clariktheking Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
thank you
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